Recently, I have been reading into “The 5 Love Languages.” Big C has gotten to where I need to know what works for him and I also don’t want to make him feel unloved because his love language is different than mine. All of this research prompted me to actually take the test.
I’ve always “assumed” that my love language was Words of Affirmation. When someone encourages me verbally I feel on top of the world! The huge downside to that is that someone can say something as simple as “I really don’t like your handwriting” and I’m analyzing everything I put on paper for the next month. I was pretty positive that the lowest on my love language would be Physical Touch. I don’t like to hug, I don’t like to hold hands, and if you even try to kiss me in public, you likely be kissing the palm of my hand. GROSS! My husband’s love language is Physical Touch or Acts of Service and I’m almost positive that SC’s is either Physical Touch or Quality Time. My husband could spend hours cuddling on the couch and SC would rather go on a Dilly Bar date at Dairy Queen than hear how much he means to me.
My results came back with (as expected) Words of Affirmation 11/30. But I was kind of shocked when the next closest, at 8/30 was physical touch? What? I can only conclude that because the test asked questions about my husband, I maybe answered some of them based on him? Trust me, I don’t want your physical touch. I don’t even want you to sit close to me. Receiving Gifts was next at 6/30. Then Quality Time (4/30) and Acts of Service (1/30).
I wish that everyone’s love language was posted on their forehead. I wish that employees required people to take this test in order to work in their establishment. I wish that all parents were required to have their children tested so that we don’t crush little spirits with our harsh words or inability to snuggle. Think of what a wonderful place the world would be if we knew exactly how someone wanted to be loved. I don’t want your hugs, but your encouragement will linger in my soul for years to come.
Here’s a photo from our “Dilly Bar Date” this evening. I love knowing that he feels loved. Now that I am more aware of how to love him, I think I can tolerate a few snuggles on the couch with hot cocoa and a few hours in a week for a date. I love spending individual time with him, especially since little C was born. It’s hard to make time like that when you have two kids and a husband, but I will do whatever it takes to make sure that when big C looks back on his childhood, he doesn’t remember, “Mom loved me in her own way,” but instead, “Mom loved me exactly how I needed to be loved.”