I’m jealousing you right now.

Not long ago my sweet Big C noticed that Weezie (that’s my mom) was giving baby C a little more attention than he felt was necessary. He began to stomp out of the room as my mom asked, “Are you jealous?” to which he replied. “YES! I’m jealousing you RIGHT NOW!”

This week I deleted everyone but family off of Facebook. A sweet friend of mine sent me a message that read,

“I realized I compare myself to these people who only share the good part of their life. I mean obviously people aren’t going to put their bad crap on Facebook … and the ones that do I am sometimes like woooaah why did you post that. Brave really. I’m not brave and I have a lot more issues than social ones….. I ignore the people who make it seem like life is peaches And cream. If their life is that I don’t wanna think about it and chance are they probably deal with the same stuff I do.”

When I read this, it occurred to me that I’m not the only one “jealousing” everyone else’s life.

I am so jealous! Why do I care? I’ll let you in on a little secret.

I AM INSECURE! Like, majorly.

I wish that was the only secret.

But there’s something else.

I AM A LIAR.

What am I really putting on Facebook anyway? Stuff. The good stuff. The real stuff, but not all of it. Why do I do that?

What if everyone put their real stuff on Facebook? I bet that instead of “Look at this cute picture of my baby covered in baby lotion,” JoeMamma what’s her face’s status should really read this, “Look at this cute picture of my baby covered in baby lotion. I was smoking on the deck when he did it and I yelled at him for 20 minutes” and SirGoodNews Man’s status would say, “Jesus loves you. But guess what, I’m thankful he loves me because I sure cussed him out this morning when I spilled coffee in my lap on the way to work.”  instead of  “Jesus loves you.” I’ll even bet that, “I love being a mom,” might turn into something like, “I love being a mom, but I’m secretly dealing with postpartum depression.” or “I know I’m redeemed, but I deal with guilt and regret.” or “I contemplated ending my life this week.” or  “I post 900 pictures of my kids because I had an abortion and I struggle with that daily.” or “I’m having an affair.” or “Sometimes I feel like this world has nothing for me.”

Hit home yet?

It did for me. The people I’m “jealousing” aren’t even real! Neither am I!! We all live in an alternate universe called Cyber World where we are living the life that we wish we had and comparing it to others who are doing the same thing. All the while, we are forgetting how great our real life actually is!

Well, today, I vow to be real. I vow to be honest and truthful and to hopefully never make you jealous of my life! I’m sorry that I pretended to be an awesome mom and wife who has her junk together on Facebook. I don’t. Most mornings, I spill formula all over the counter because I’m half asleep. It’s not because I was up all night working or feeding a baby. Nope, I was up watching tv while everyone else was asleep because sometimes, I really don’t want to be around my family. Bad mom. Bad wife. Whatever.

Then, I don’t even clean the formula up. I just leave it there. Messy house syndrome, I guess.

Here’s what my statuses should read:

I’m totally nuts.

Just argued with my husband about what to eat for dinner because I’m tired.

Now I’m crying because we’re out of milk and I really wanted coffee.

Told my kids we were out of ice cream. Really I just didn’t want to make it.

Man, definitely didn’t wake up early for time with Jesus today! I’m probably tired because I stayed up watching Scandal last night!

Just went shopping. Bought some shoes I’ll never wear!

Thought I was going to fail today, so I just didn’t leave the house.

Man, I hate laundry.

I love my husband, but sometimes I want a vacation without my family.

Saw that one girl today. She hugged me. I secretly cussed her out. I hate hugs!

Feeling pretty guilty today. I am a horrible person.

Man, I’m sure my 4 year old understands my rude sarcasm.

Just pretended to go to the bathroom for an hour so that I could read Catching Fire!

I wish I hadn’t missed big C’s life and tried to make up for it by never letting little C leave my side.

Today I ate chocolate frosting straight from the can. Delicious.

Just enjoyed a delightful dinner with my friend and gossiped the whole time.

Audi Day to friend I haven’t seen in years: Hey girl! I would say let’s get together, but that’s a waste of time, because I never follow through with my plans!

I need Jesus.

I need Jesus.

I need Jesus.

Why can’t we just be real? Why can’t we just be us? Why can’t we accept people for what they are and stop requiring them to be who they are on Facebook?

Why?

Well, I am. I am going to be real. And guess what! I want to be like Jesus, so I’ll take you being real. Whatever you are, wherever you’ve been, wherever you’re going. I want to know. And I want to love you and all your junk.

I want to know what your status should read. You can comment anonymously. Who are you in real life?

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3 thoughts on “I’m jealousing you right now.

  1. “We SHOULD get together, but were too similar and would never make it happen”.
    And I spent all day yesterday on Pinterest, avoiding life. 🙂

  2. Well that absolutely hit home. I sometimes get upset and put things on Facebook that don’t necessarily belong but I’ve never thought about a “real” status. I think mine would be a lot like yours. “I pretended (re-reading, is “pretended” a real word? Looks odd to me…) to sleep for 15 minutes listening to the baby cry hoping lazy hubby would get up and deal with it. I would LOVE a vacation away from the boys and hubby. Or at least one full day. I’m so sick of my roomies being lazy but I don’t bother to clean up, either, so what can I say? I don’t think I really have PPD but I’m either borderline or just stressed to the point of either crying or being angry towards everyone, including the kids, all the time. I’m furious at my dad for not talking to me now because hubby quit his job. He’s not the one that has to deal with the stress and financial weight so he can kiss my rump.” Anyways, all I’ll put is pics of the kids or share random funny pics I’ve seen that make me think of someone. 🙂 I do laugh at someone’s status that says LML (Lovin’ my life) especially when I KNOW their real story. I hate people sometimes 🙂 Sorry this is a jumbled mess but I miss you, Mrs. Day!

    • We have ALL been there! The funniest thing is that EVERYONE does it! Why do we do that to each other! Your life is awesome just the way it is and your boys ARE precious!

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