Recently at lifechurch.tv they had a course called “Chazown.” I decided not to sign up because it was on Matthew’s Birthday and I felt that it was important to be here for that since it’s his first birthday away from his extended family (Mom and Dad and 3 siblings) in his entire life.
Chazown (Hebrew) translates to “Vision.” As someone who has lived my entire life wondering what the heck I’m doing here, I found this very intriguing and began researching the topic more and more. I watched the sermon from Pastor Craig and immediately started looking into the next course. Much to my (delightful) surprise, you can complete the course online. So, of course I did.
Let me just say, it was life changing. Life. Changing.
The process takes quite some time, but through it I laughed, I cried and I learned so much about myself and my vision. Instead of telling you what you are supposed to do, the course gives you the tools to discover on your own (with the help of God) what you are supposed to do… what the vision for your life is… your “Chazown.”
In the process you have to write a statement of your Chazown. All by yourself! Before you start this process, there is a video where the Craig says, “Don’t be surprised if God’s vision for you is bigger than you imagined. Don’t be overwhelmed.”
Oh, overwhelmed is an understatement.
After prayer, God CLEARLY placed a vision on my life in two very important ways.
My chazown is to minister to women (young and old) who have had experiences in their lives where they have felt unloved and unworthy and to help them, through Christ, overcome the feeling of defeat!
Specifically, I feel called to help girls who went through situations similar to mine. Teen pregnancy is an epidemic in the United States, but informing girls after they are pregnant, doesn’t really seem to help. I’d like to give hope to girls. With Christ, life can be anything you want it to be. Even with a baby. I could talk about this for days, but for now, I’ll get off my teen pregnancy soap box and tell you what this has to do with “How to Make a Biscuit.”
Recently, I shared my “Saturday Night Cry-fest” revolution about my blogs with my husband.
Can I pause and insert mushy gushy-ness about how wonderful and supportive he is?
He didn’t respond automatically, he didn’t have any comments for several days actually. Then, one day he said something like, “Audi, you know, just because they are Saturday Night Cry-Fests doesn’t mean they don’t serve a great purpose.”
“What?” I replied, “You’re life can’t be as crazy or as bad as mine?”
“No. It shows that in every circumstance, you could deal with defeat.”
Of course, being the most defensive person in the world, I didn’t take this well.
Um, Defeat? What are you saying? I’m defeated in every aspect of my life?
That wasn’t at all what Matthew was saying. What he was saying is this: I can’t be alone. People deal with defeat every single day, but rarely do they admit it or address it. The shift of my blog completely changed when I realized this (with the help of my amazing husband). At the end of every cry-fest, there comes triumph. I feel empowered and new. I feel like I can take over the world and bring my kids along in a Moby wrap.
I ran with the idea as we started compiling thoughts and ideas for the revamp. At that point, I wanted to be geared toward moms who feel defeated.
Then I completed Chazown.
This blog is not about just moms. It is so much more than that now.
Defeat isn’t just present in motherhood, it’s present in every faucet of life and something that many women relate to!
Whether you’re feeling defeated because your real life isn’t as great as someone’s facebook life or you keep exercising and you aren’t loosing weight…. or you’re feeling defeated because your child hates reading and you’re homeschooling (ME)… Even if it’s because you’re living with a secret so big that you don’t think people could handle it…. or you’re trying to make your family eat whole foods and you just caved and ate a whole butterfinger…. You are not defeated. You can be empowered. You can win the fight! And so can I. We can and we will.
This blog has been in the works for years. YEARS! I have documents saved on my computer desktop from when Carter was two. I never felt like anyone would want to read what I had to say… Obviously if you’re reading this you do. I’ve had so much encouragement from family and friends. Of course, I’ve also met opposition.
I’ve found that no matter what you do, you can’t please everyone. Sometimes other people see areas of their life that need improvement just like yours, but when you start improving them, they feel defeated and insecure. Therefore, naturally, they oppose what you are attempting to do.
Don’t let that stop you.
Here I am… in Oklahoma. My husband is working somewhere he never dreamed he’d be blessed to work. I’m a stay at home mom homeschooling my four year old.
What? When did this happen?
When I stood up for myself against opposition (and satan) and said, I won’t be defeated today. We can do this. I can do this. I can make a biscuit.
If you’re interesting in finding your Chazown, check out this video and then go to www.Chazown.com.