Last spring… Okay, it was February, but in Orange Beach, Spring comes after Christmas…. I felt a huge calling from God to stay at home with Carter and begin homeschooling in the fall. I planned and prepared and planned some more… not just the curriculum, but also my heart and mind to take on this task. I resigned from a job that I loved so much and I began the gruesome journey of life as a stay at home mom.
I’ve documented a few of my hardships on How to Make a Biscuit, but blogging couldn’t even become a glimpse into the challenges of stay-at-home-motherhood from the perspective of someone who has worked for three years as a mom! The transition only became more difficult as we moved across the country to obey God’s calling in Matthew’s heart.
As time went on, I became more and more miserable in my role. I really felt like my life was spiraling into something that I didn’t truly want, but I really wanted to want. I wanted the desire to spend every waking minute with my kids. I wanted the desire to homeschool my extremely “spirited” child. I wanted to desire to do all my laundry. Yes… even laundry. I really wanted to be that mom.
The hard truth is, I felt God telling me, “Audi, sweet love, you don’t have to be miserable…. Don’t you know what I have for you?”
My husband pressed me to look into a job. I continued to reject that “suggestion” because God called me to stay at home, right?
God tugged on my heartstrings and into my soul reminding me of my calling into ministry years ago… of the lives that were changed and the people that left a mark on my life that can never be erased.
No. No, God… you called me to stay at home.
Finally, I applied for a job.
The interview process was an amazing time for me. It’s exactly what I needed to realize that God doesn’t ever call you to just be _________ or just do _________. God calls you ALWAYS to a stepping stone to the next best thing that he calls you to do.
Woah. That’s so insanely amazing that I can’t comprehend it completely.
God called me to stay at home with my boys because Matthew would never have considered applying to LifeChurch.tv if I was wonderfully happy with my job. We wouldn’t have even pursued God’s next purpose for us to be used had I not been called to stay at home with our boys. Had God not called Matthew to Oklahoma, I never would know that I was supposed to do anything other than be content.
I realize now that God is calling me to do something big… bigger than I can even understand… to see lives changed and allow him to work through me to change those lives.
With that, I’m happy to share that I’ve accepted a position as Nextgen Admin at LifeChurch.tv’s South OKC campus. I’m so excited to see how God uses me during this season… as always, there’s more to share, but we’ll save that for after Christmas!
Even though I am SO thrilled to know my current purpose,I know it’s not my “final” calling… and that is even more exciting than the news itself.